Friendship
Introduced by Karen Lynn
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“In the hierarchy of relationships, friendships are at the bottom. Romantic partners, parents, children—all these come first.”
“This is true in life, and in science, where relationship research tends to focus on couples and families. When Emily Langan, an associate communication professor at Wheaton College, goes to conferences for the International Association of Relationship Researchers, she says, friendship is the smallest cluster there. Sometimes it’s a panel, if that.”
“Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into them. And unlike other voluntary bonds, such as marriages and romantic relationships, they lack a formal structure. You wouldn’t go months without speaking with or seeing your significant other (hopefully), but you might go that long without contacting a friend.”
“Still, survey upon survey upon survey shows how important people’s friends are to their happiness. And though friendships tend to change as people age, there is some consistency in what people want from them.”
From How Friendships Change in Adulthood, “We need to catch up soon!”
By Julie Beck in The Atlantic, October 22, 2015.
Questions for Discussion
What is a friend? How do you define the difference between a “real” friend and an acquaintance? Are there degrees of friendship?
What does marriage, or love, have to do with friendship?
How does one maintain a friendship? Do you seek a balance of giving to each other?
How can men and women be friends in modern society? In what ways has this changed over centuries?
Is friendship a natural part of evolution that has produced human culture?
How does friendship change as people age?
Do you have an ideal friend, or, is this possible?
Why is friendship less valued than romantic partners?
“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend.” ―Albert Camus
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